Whittling might have been a hoax and Blackberry massages just a ruse, but the Awethumb is all too real — and all too freaking amazing. Yeah, we’re not at all sure that these $8 plastic thumbguards — available in your choice of colors! — will actually protect you from repetitive stress or even make typing easier, but all the dudes and dudettes on the El train will know you mean business when you slip ’em on. As an added bonus, lack of compatibility with the iPhone will allow you to express your disdain for touchscreens in a satisfyingly dramatic way — if you can’t rock it with an Awethumb, you’re not rockin’. Ah, to be young and ensheathed in plastic thumb protectors. Frankly astounding video after the break.